INFP Relationships

The INFP displays contrary qualities: gentle and caring, yet crusading, social and supportive, yet private and difficult to know. The INFP values most those who take the time, trouble and effort to really get to know them. Only those who are allowed through the INFP 'assault course' will get genuinely close. To others the INFP will seem like a gentle enigma. The INFP will often display their reactions to their feelings, rather than their feelings, and may bottle things up which then leak out at strange moments thus adding to the 'difficult to understand' image. It is essential for the INFP that their beliefs and their actions are totally in sync at all times. An INFP is unlikely to take any action which they don’t believe in their heart is right.

Objectivity is difficult for the INFP as INFPs feel things, really FEEL them and so to step back and give an objective appraisal of a situation or a person is hard because the INFP will consider these in relation to their own values and these are very difficult to understand as they are so personal. They will take things to heart and any criticism will be taken very personally and seriously, seen as a personal affront and so wound very deeply. Rather than take issue with the person, the INFP will invariably store their feelings up and they will fester and then leak out.

So serious can this be that the INFP may, rather than bring the issue up later, simply drop the offending person from their life-space. The INFP has a tendency to idealise relationships and so may be disappointed when others don’t measure up.

Curious yet shy, INFPs love to know what's going on, feel excluded if not kept informed but do not like to be the centre of attention, shunning the limelight. INFPs are incredibly emotional, indeed they can actually feel what others are feeling and this can even stay with them. They are tuned in and insightful and they are happy to deal with the emotions of others.

INFPs have a deep desire for harmony and balance and will prefer to see the good in people, focusing on the positive issues and the interconnections between people rather than with the negatives. For a type so caring and gentle there is a surprisingly crusading side to the INFP. When a personal value is trodden on, the INFP can become uncharacteristically outspoken and champion of the cause. The INFP does not like conflict and will seek to be the one who brings harmony, diffusing tension and seeing things from the other person’s perspective, excellent supporters and empathetic friends. Conflict, aggression or even extended people interaction will sap the energy of the INFP who will need to disappear back into their own inner sanctum, reflect deeply on how it made them feel and recharge.