Do opposites attract or do relationships work best with people like us?

Bill McAneny's picture
Published on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 11:45 by Bill McAneny

Swan love

Well yes and no, and no and yes! There has been a huge rise on online dating sites and many are now offering personality “tests” for ‘compatibility,’ which always worries me. Since time began people have been attracted to someone for a whole variety of reasons, many of them illogical (and rightly so) and, like buying a property, you often don’t know what you want until you see it and then any previous preconceptions get rationalised away: 

Yeah OK I know she’s not what I originally thought would be my type but she’s just so positive. 

But you didn’t have ‘positive’ in your ‘list of requirements.

Well I do now.

Valentine's Day - Conflict vs Compatibility in Relationships

Bill McAneny's picture
Published on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 14:18 by Bill McAneny

Lauren and HardyWith Valentine's Day approaching the question is often asked: ‘will relationships work best with someone who is exactly like me or do opposite attract?’ And sadly the answer is ‘yes and no and yes and no.’ You see the issue of harmony vs conflict is one of adaption. Sure we can’t change our basic personalities but we can modify our behaviour; and that is where we can change conflict to compatibility - if we choose. And that will occur best when we understand the other person. We get to know someone and we adapt our behaviour to accommodate, we consider our impact on them, we recognise they see the world differently from us; and we have compatibility. Relationships have to be worked at and this is best achieved through mutual understanding.

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